Thursday, October 15, 2009

Guilty

I have a confession to make: I am not one of those moms who has lost herself in the process of having children. Quite the opposite; I sometimes have to peel myself away from my hobbies to read a story or dress a doll.

Don't get me wrong--I love my children more than life itself. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I watch them play together with pride, listen with joy to their stories, and cry with them when they are sad. I can hardly remember life before them, and never for a moment have I ever wished for a return those times, those days when I never knew what it was like to listen to the laughter of my children.

The thing is, I have other interests too. I am baffled when I hear about mothers who need to rediscover themselves after years of doting. Nor did I ever stop taking daily showers, putting time into my hair, and doing my makeup. No gym pants for me!

But I do feel guilty sometimes, when I am absorbed in my photography or curled up with a great book. I wonder if I should be playing Lego on the floor with my son or Polly Pockets with my daughter.

Then again, surely they are learning something about the importance of having interests and hobbies. Surely they will grow up with a strong sense of self.

My children are busy: Crafts, K-Nex, marbles, dolls, drawing and writing. They are forever inventing and imagining, their creativity boundless.

I'd like to think they get some of this from me.

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